Saturday, December 15, 2012

Things I'd Be Happy to Get Help With

palliative |ˈpalēˌātiv, ˈpalēətiv|


(of a treatment or medicine) relieving pain or alleviating a problem without dealing with the underlying cause: short-term, palliative measures had been taken.

The other day I had a session with Carol Gerstein, the palliative care social worker. It was good. The theme that eventually emerged was 'needs'. I'm not used to having needs, or at least I'm not used to expressing them. I'm used to being 'fine'. Part of my experience then is just letting needs be there, mine and other people's, and letting mine be known when that is helpful. They don't have to be the same and they don't have to be in conflict. It's all super basic, but new to me in the situation I now find myself in, navigating this mysterious process I'm going through, and that other people are going through in relation to me.

Since the meeting with Dr. Nelson last Friday about the x-ray results, my days are full, vivid, a roller coaster ride of contentment and sorrow. Again, I am adjusting to my current situation. I often wake up feeling happy, and my time with people is very sweet and poignant, no matter what is being said.

Fridge magnet wisdom
There are lots of things - well, it's been greatly reduced so let's say a few things - I would like to do. I don't know how long I will be alive enough to do them. Paramananda suggested that I do the things I want to do and not worry about whether I have enough time to do them, which sounds good. My priorities are to ordain Dawn and spend time with her, and to produce a memoir of the last year/this blog. Getting rid of a bunch of stuff would also be grand. Of course I will be spending a lot of time with other people besides Dawn, too.

BTW, not going to Hawaii anymore. I'm meeting Cull in Bali on December 25, back January 12.

I added a Helpful Things tab if you want to check out ways you can help.

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