Things to do for your cancer patient pals

I kind of wish I had gotten the red one too,
but I guess I'll be sensible and first see
if I end up wearing this one after today.
I'm still into the scarves and hats, too.
Wig is good for San Francisco weather. 

I've heard a lot that friends and family of people with cancer can get frustrated because they want to help but don't know what to do. I was thinking of making a list of ideas, not so much about me...But I thought a list based on my experience might be useful.

BTW, if someone says to me, Let me know if you need any help, they will never hear from me. Because I don't know what they're offering, or if they're just being polite...and it's difficult to ask for help anyway.

I am too tired now to write this list. So here's a poem you may enjoy in the mean time:

How To Behave With The Ill, by Julia Darling

Approach us assertively, try not to

cringe or sidle, it makes us fearful.

Rather walk straight up and smile.

Do not touch us unless invited,

particularly don't squeeze upper arms,

or try to hold our hands. Keep your head erect.

Don't bend down, or lower your voice.

Speak evenly. Don't say

'How are you?' in an underlined voice.

Don't say, I heard that you were very ill.

This makes the poorly paranoid.

Be direct, say 'How's your cancer?'

Try not to say how well we look.

compared to when you met in Safeway's.

Please don't cry, or get emotional,

and say how dreadful it all is.

Also (and this is hard I know)

try not to ignore the ill, or to scurry

past, muttering about a bus, the bank.

Remember that this day might be your last

and that it is a miracle that any of us

stands up, breathes, behaves at all.