Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Symptoms / Nadir

What fatigue looks like, 8:30pm 
Very tired today. Stayed in bed much of the day but managed a walk to Whole Foods in Snowy Valley to give my regular donation. According to Google maps it's 1.8 miles roundtrip.

A sore in my mouth on the left, the problematic side of my facial symmetry, which is also numb off and on.

Numb feet, but stabbing pains seem to have gone away.

Sacrum/hip joints very sore, possibly from pilates class Friday.

And that's about it, not too bad.

I wish I had more philosophy for you. Today I was reading more of Turning Suffering Inside Out, an excellent Dharma book about suffering. Here is a section I post-it'ed:
From my experience with my own body and from observing other people I teach, I have come to believe that there is some biochemical concomitant of active, conscious, deliberate attempts to heal ourselves, beginning with relaxation techniques that seem to enable us to pick up the body's signals through the garble of goal-oriented thoughts and panic over our condition. 
Which seems a bit complicated. I guess what's she's saying is that (she believes) conscious attempts at self-healing, which begin with relaxation, are followed by physical healing.

Lungs getting scanned tomorrow.

P.S. I looked it up and I am in the 'nadir' part of the chemo cycle. Amen.

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