Friday, October 19, 2012

Rather shocking, plus voting

As a friend excellently summed it up in an email today, Shit that blows.

Everyone seems to be surprised. Not least of all, my oncologist and I. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, please see previous blog post.)

How do I want to spend my time? Will I go to Mexico on October 30? It's all up in the air now. I'll decide by Tuesday when I talk to the doc.

I heart Halloween
I'm assuming that chemotherapy is what western medicine will have to offer at this point, which is crap. Well, if it works it's not crap. Mine seems not to have had any effect at all. Come to think of it, what my body responded to so well in the first round of treatment was radiation (chemotherapy aspect was minor). I'll find out a lot more on Tuesday.

At this point the prospects seem dire. It now seems much more likely that cancer and chemotherapy are permanent (as it were) parts of my life. Which, as already articulated, blows. Presumably I'll get used to the idea as I have everything else? Not sure about that. I'm remembering Rene the social worker at South San Francisco talking about someone who had lived for ten years with some kind of advanced stage gynecological cancer. And been on chemotherapy the whole time. Yuck.

I figured the reason I've been so tired and cravey is because of the chemotherapy. But in light of current info, I think back to December of last year when I was first diagnosed, I was having crushing sugar cravings, and a lot of fatigue. That was because of cancer. Maybe this time, too. Maybe it seems fairly normal to have sugar cravings, everyone has them. But these cravings are more intense than any others I have experienced in my life. It's noticeably different. It's also true that it might not be related to cancer, who knows. Could just be related to fatigue, which also may or may not be related to cancer.


I hosted a 'voting salon' last night, a few hours after I got the news. I almost canceled it. Eight of us figured out the state propositions and local measures. I thoroughly enjoyed focusing on non-cancer-related subjects for a couple of hours! For those of you in the US, we referenced The Bay Guardian and these two websites in our discussions of State Propositions:
Summary of progressive org endorsements
Summary of CA newspaper endorsements

Here's what most of us settled on:

30- Y
31 - N
32 - N
33 - N
34 - undecided (because of Jarvis Masters)
35 - N
36 - Y
37 - Y
38 - N
39, 40 - Y

All Yes, except F.

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