Smoothish Sailing

Laura and Bill were with me at chemo. I hadn't seen Bill in a while and we had a great chat, and in no time we were done (actual time is about 5 hours.) The Onc. nurse David is efficient. We heard about his cycling trip to Tuscany. It was a nice day, didn't pick up the laptop or a book the whole time. The fact that it was the last chemo for a while didn't feel that significant. I suppose it's because the infusion isn't where things end.

The chemo/drug routine before today has been that, before any actual chemotherapy, I was given among other things, 8mg oral dexamethazone, and 20 mg intravenously. By request today I received no oral, and 10 by infusion. It is a completely different experience, much better. Kathy commented how different I was this time than last time. I am very tired, but it is better than the buzz I usually have, that keeps me awake most of the night.

Even though there are several huge events happening in San Francisco this weekend, there was little traffic getting to Misha's, or else I just found a good way to get there (Laura drove.) (Post to Gough to Fell to Mission and parked on Mission, just have to leave by 4.) I was so wrecked, at Misha's I fell into a deep asleep in less than five minutes. Back home, Karunadevi made Laura and I an excellent dinner and we watched a movie.


More on drugs: I stopped taking prozac a couple of weeks ago. One less pill in my life feels good.

I didn't use an estrogen patch for a week, but the world heated up again, so I reapplied for a week. (I know people say hot flashes are natural, but then again, so is cancer. AND this is medical menopause, so it's not natural.)

The further away I am from chemo day 1, the better I sleep, even occasionally without pharmaceutical or herbal aid. I am even tired of the herbs. Sometimes they are too difficult to digest, or it is too much fiber, and there are so many of them. I'm supposed to take them three times a day but I often do two or one.

I am so sick of drugs. On the other hand, my feet are numb and tingly, it's 12:36 am, and while I am very tired, sleep does not happen. I will try to finish this post, probably not going to happen tonight. Perhaps a new cocktail of melatonin and Vicodin? Yes.

Now it's morning. I guess the big dexamethasone dose usually masks how shitty I feel.

Media imbibed wholly or partially in the last several days:

• Diary Drawings, Mental Illness and Me, by Bobby Baker. A very unusual and moving visual memoir written by friend of Dhammagita's. 
• Half way though Wicked tapes, still lovin' it. (I only listen to it in my car.)
• Cancer Vixen, aforementioned author with Italian name. 
• What The Hell Are You Doing? by David Shrigley
• This Must Be The Place (2011). The excellent Sean Penn as alienated but strangely wise and burned out rocker Cheyenne takes a journey home to retaliate against his father's (Nazi) oppressor. Very Indie, style-wise. 
• 500 Days of Summer (2009). Shitty title, or anyway gives the wrong impression. I like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, as an actor and at least how he appears to be as a person, even if his name is hard to remember. 

Bye David, I hope, though you are awesome.