Tuesday, September 25, 2012

An issue of bilateral symmetry

Another example of what I don't look like
Slept last night without aid, after reading much of the amazing graphic memoir called Fun Home (ironic), by Allison Bechdel. Her angry, sad father appeared in my dreams...

And I woke up feeling sad. Sad that I am still dealing with cancer, and isolated in my body in dealing with it. There is plenty to be happy about, too, but the feelings this morning were bittersweet. Fall in San Francisco. You don't see it so much, but you very much feel it in your body, and everyone says they're tired. I'm not feeling so much tired as tired of.

I wonder if part of the reason for my apparently eternal equanimity and/or optimism could be Prozac. I take a very small amount, and every other day, but still. (Actually these days I'm mostly forgetting to take it. Hence the sadness?)

I still have a lump just above (anterior to) my wrist. The swelling's gone down and it hurts less, not sure I can be bothered to get it looked at.

Anxiety, or a misplaced eyebrow?
Daily eyebrow creation is getting more challenging, so little real hair left to guide the pencil. One sometimes ends up above the other and I have to erase and start over again. Drawing symmetrical things has always been challenging for me.

I added some important info about British usage of the word "cunt" to the end of this post if you want to get the latest...

Way fewer people read these updates than used to. Sometimes people apologize to me for not reading it. If you don't read this blog, you are not reading it right now. But just in case you are accidentally reading it right now, I want to let you know that I have no expectation whatsoever that you read this blog. It is 100% voluntarily.

So no need to apologize for not reading it, or not listening to a talk I posted, or not doing whatever. Everything is fine. Everything is voluntary. I'm still writing it for whomever wants to read it, and for myself.


  1. I've lurked for quite some time. I am enjoying being the passenger on your journey. Thank you.

  2. Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode where Uncle Leo burned his eyebrows off so someone (maybe Elaine) painted them back on? Here's a grainy clip...

  3. I think those eyebrows are Picasso-ish... and where's the info at the end about 'cunt'.. what do u mean 'No one reads ur blog.

    I do, I send prayers your way - watch a good chick flick movie which guarantees a good 'cry' and cry those eyes out.. go ahead - u have rights to do that, but then tomorrow, pick your ass up and get on.. I know it's tough, use those prayers and light to shrink those tumers and replace them with 'pac-man' like munchers that will munch all that crap outta your body... u can do it, I know you, haven't talked in a long while.. but you KICK ASS..

    hugs and prayers,

  4. Love the black hair! just another version of you....
    you're inspiring me to experiment beyond my back-country look.
    symmetry is over-rated, not to mention boring.
    I read your blog irregularly but always to where I left off...it's great and very much conveys the ever-evolving essence of your being. And, just so you know, I have been regularly dedicating the (albeit sometimes meager!) merit of my practice to your health and well-being...
    may you be well, free from suffering, and enjoy true liberation,
    Love you, sweets!