What I've been up to

Not much!

Enjoyed watching all available episodes of Sherlock, a BBC series starring the impossibly named Benedict Cumberbach.

I don't feel depressed which I'm glad about. I did not anticipate how doing ordinary things - anything that involves standing up - could take such an enormous amount of effort. Like standing up and putting on my jeans, or say, walking 10 steps. It's a huge mental adjustment.

Ideally I would be drinking more corn silk tea and putting more moisturizer on my leathery forehead and skull, and doing some rudimentary form of movement. I'm doing a bit, just not every day.

I'm very thirsty, and I am eating very little. Sometimes I only want to eat a specific thing (like dill pickles, pizza, or watermelon!) Especially when I get very tired, food sometimes becomes disgusting.

BTW my anagarika ceremony is 10am on June 15. Unfortunately it's "Order only" because of chanting the 10 (Order) Precepts. Hm, I just remembered I had a dream last night that involved some kind of threesome. I remember thinking, oh well, might as well do it before the ceremony! Yes, things have gotten a bit sexier as I figured they might. It's funny how in my dreams I am really into sex.

Jules came over yesterday and helped me out a lot while I mostly laid in bed. She brought food and cut up watermelon for me and took away stuff (mostly clothes that are too big or conservative) that I had in a pile for a month or so. She also looked up "whole brain radiation fatigue" and reminded me that it usually only lasts a month, which is great news that I forgot. It's been about two and a half weeks.

winter rain

people have been so kind

my eyes fill with tears

-santoka