Wednesday, February 20, 2013


"Life lasts but a few scratches of the claw in the sand." Wislawa Symborska

Very bad picture of study group (after two people left)
Me, Julie, Savanna (front), Ann, Hridayashri
I had a great time at the retreat this weekend, which Karunadevi and I led. Friends came from Seattle, Hawaii, Missoula, New York, and Canada, plus locals. Some of us have been doing this retreat for 20 years. I led the most excellent study group ever (I mean because of the people in it!)

I felt an astonishing amount of gratitude. I thought of how many doctors' appointments Julie has gone to with me. One afternoon Dayamudra set me up with a few restorative yoga postures. Elaine swept my room at the end. I can't actually remember the other things I was thinking of but they were pouring from my heart; the sense of gratitude was enormous. Almost the whole time, well, many, many of the hours there, I felt intensely present, calm, happy, and grateful, and on the verge, or over the verge, of tears. To have the life that I have, to do what I do, to know the people that I know.

I'm working on a poem I started on Hridayashri's ordination retreat, "House on Fire," which I read during the final ritual. I will try to put it in the next post. (I'm getting some help finishing it.)

Spider web at Jioji
Healthwise: On the retreat I crashed at around 8:00 pm every night, as if an evil-doer had placed the old at-8:00pm-you-will-turn-into-an-achey-old-lady hex on me. Cough is about the same. I have hacked up, twice, some small, very bright red, worm-shaped phlegm. According to an article from the ever-omniscient internet entitled Snot and Mucus Decoded: The Meaning of Snot Colors, it could be a sign of bronchitis. The American Family Physician website says that the usual causes of blood in phlegm in adults are are pneumonia, bronchitis and lung cancer. As much as it pains me to think of talking to another doctor, I made an appointment with my GP for next week. He's actually a cool guy, he meditates. I haven't talked to him in a few years.

Saw the movie The Sessions last week, thought it was surprisingly well done.

P.S. You may have been wondering, Who is Trebor? He is an old friend who lived in this building in the '90's. Currently he is living in Berlin.

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